Doctor's Appt.

I'm at 42 weeks and I'm praying that the doctor tells me I've dilated enough to be induced. Dr. Richards really doesn't want me to have a csection. His concern is that I will have a csection and be left with a hard recovery without having my baby to hold. I am struggling with this. Is my life more important than Caleb's? Who am I to make these decisions? The night before I prayed so hard. Asking God to please give me a sign on what to do. That morning I woke up and told Steven that I need to have another ultrasound. It is just weighing on my heart. When we went in to the doctor there was no change. I was so disappointed. I asked the dr. to please do another ultrasound. He asked me what was I hoping to gain from it. I said I didn't know but I wanted to see my son again...it may be the last time we would see our son alive. He agreed. During the ultrasound we all just laughed at how active he was. Dr. Richards said that he had long hair and looked good. There were still the issues with the heart and other things but he kept it really positive. I was so happy for that. He took the measurements and left the room. When he came back in he had a big smile on his face. He sat down and said that Caleb was measuring about 6lbs 5oz. That is really big for a baby with t18. Steven & I just laughed and were overjoyed. The dr. then said that he was comfortable doing the csection now, that he felt it was the best thing. God is so good...He gave me the sign I was looking for.