Thursday, March 19, 2009

The day before we meet Caleb

Steven & I got up & started cleaning....getting everything ready. I had my moments of feeling scared & cried. I'm ready to meet Caleb but also sad because of the unknown, how long will I have to hold him. I've done all I can do to care for him to give him the best chance possible. Now it is up to God. I stood in the shower and wrapped my arms around my belly. I cried and talked to Caleb...this may be the last time I will feel him alive. Oh how my heart aches. I just fall to my knees (not literally because I wouldn't be able to get up), I need you God more than ever. I can't do this alone. Please, please carry me through this.
Mom came up about 4. She is doing ok. I think she is doing better than I am. But she is scared. She is trying to be strong for me. Dad came in from VA. at about 6:30 and we all went to Cracker Barrel for dinner. We had a nice time. So many people called us...we feel so loved. I spoke to a dear friend that I had met through this journey, Dyane. We both just cried. We all tried to get some sleep...it was hard.

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