Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Philly Trip: "You Are My Sunshine"

During our speech in Philadelphia, we mentioned how Caleb was surrounded by friends and family before he went into the arms of Jesus.  We sang "You are my sunshine".  Our son Devin, use to sing this to Caleb so often.  After we were done speaking, Gianna Jessen, who was also speaking at the Pro-Life Conference asked if she could sing this song in honor of Caleb.  We were so touched and happily said "OF COURSE :)".  Gianna's story is absolutely amazing too.  She is a beautiful person with the sweetest spirit.  Danielle Rose, who travels the world as a Music Missionary joined Gianna in singing.....what an honor it was to have these Godly women sing to our precious son Caleb.  They are the kind of women that you want to hang out with....always.  Getting to know them brought us so much peace and healing.  There aren't enough thank you's to express how much it meant to Steven and I.

 "........ coming from an orphan's background, it was the most amazing thing to watch a father weep for love of his son. i have never seen that, we hugged each other."  This is part of a post that Gianna made on her page that day.  We cannot express how much this meant to Steven.  Often father's are left in the background and people forget that they hurt too.  Thank you so much Gianna. 

Philly trip: Speaking at the Pro-life conference

Steven & I were asked to speak at a Pro-life conference in Philadelphia.  We were honored to be asked to be a part of such a wonderful event.  However, we weren't sure that we were ready to make this trip.  It is still so new in our grieving for our precious son.  But when we saw the title of the conference we knew that this could only be orchestrated by God "Born This Way? Made This Way...Wonderfully (Psalm 139)"  Psalm 139 is what we used in all of Caleb's parties, Celebration of Life, etc.  And how often are you asked to go across country to speak at a conference, especially by a caring and compassionate Dr.?  So we did.  We met some of the most amazing people.  I would like to think that this conference was about making a difference in other people lives...and we pray that we touched even one person.  But I truly think this was more about us this time.  God knew we were struggling in this part of our grieving process. Lots of doubts, lots of questions and a lot of saddness.  He brought these amazing people into our lives that were part of the conference...it was like God brought them together and we were surrounded by this huge hug.  For that we are so grateful.  I have much more to write about...so much more to share...but for now I will share the video of us speaking.  I will tell you that I had this whole speech prepared in my head on what to say...but before we went on, they played the video of Caleb.  Steven & I lost it.  So when we went up to speak, I just had to throw everything out the window and speak from the heart.  It was so hard because our hearts are still in a million pieces.....but we also knew we were surrounded by so many amazing people that were there to support us...and each other. I am especially proud of Steven for getting up and speaking....this I know was hard for him.  But he did a beautiful job....I am blessed to  be walking hand in hand with him in this journey.  We continue the healing process.  I will write more on our experiences on this trip...sharing more videos & pictures.  We are so incredibly blessed.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

I got his in the mail today from Caleb's buddy, Lane (35 months old, also has trisomy 18). I LOVE IT. The Caleb Bear is the same weight as when Caleb was born... 6lbs 5ozs. It came with a cape and blanket. I cried..it was like snuggling with Caleb again. I'm going to snuggle with him tonight. He is in the crib right now. Who knows I may just jump into the crib with him!!! The bear was made by another special mommy Katie Weaver. Thank you so much Alisha and Katie .....I love you