Sunday, October 2, 2011

Letter to my beautiful son..I read this at his Celebration



Dear Caleb,
I remember the day I was getting ready to head to the hospital to meet you for the first time & I was talking with God. I had prayed to have a couple of moments with you...to hold you. Then I got up the nerve to try & renegotiate with God, & asked Him for 2 hours. And if that was not to be His will, to please hold me and our family so tight to handle whatever may come. Never in my most wonderful dreams did I think I would have 2 1/2 years with you. I got to watch you grow into this amazing lil' boy. So full of life, never knowing your earthly body was broken...because your beautiful spirit shined brightly. Your smiles were infectious....no one was safe from them....they would instantly smile with you. I loved waking you up every morning with a "hello sunshine", laying you on your blanket, turning on your tree, then your cartoons...we had our routine. I loved our naps, I would lay my head right next to yours so I could feel your breath with mine...we were sharing one breath. I loved nibbling on those cute little toes...they were so perfect.... I loved taking care of you my son...I would've done it a lifetime...I am so honored that God chose us to be your parents...your big brothers will be looking for you everywhere...in the garden, in a rainbow, in a dream...so please watch over them. I wouldn't change one moment.... I would do it all over again. You have brought so many wonderful people into our lives. You've shown so many people how to love...how to live...."You've made God famous" I am so incredibly proud of you with all that you have done in the short life you have been here with us. I could go on and on, you have given us so many wonderful memories. I could sit and talk forever...I promise you that I will continue to tell your story to help others & just to make me smile. But there is one more thing I have to say...I want to thank you and God for giving me those last moments with you. When we knew it was close for you to be going home...as I layed next to you...I asked for one more nap with you...we wereso tired. All of a sudden as we layed there your sats went higher than they had been in days & as I held you in my arms I could feel you become warm again, you opened your eyes for the first time in so long...they looked beautiful and you rubbed your nose as you always did. We layed there for a while....until it was time for you to go from our arms into the arms of Jesus. I will never ever forget that moment & I am so incredibly grateful for that moment.I love you my beautiful son....

2 comments:

  1. Many tears of joy and sadness for these last few moments with your boy and prayers continue your way...

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  2. Jeannette, I know it wasn't easy, but it amazed me how you and Steven were able to read your letters at Caleb's Celebration of Life Ceremony. You folks mean so much to me and I'm so blessed to have you as my friend. :)

    Love,
    Michael

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