I can't even explain in words how hard this day was. Steven and I had decided to make the funeral arrangements ahead of time because we didn't know how long I would be in the hospital. I didn't want Steven to have to make these decisions alone. We were greeted by an absolutely wonderful man who helped us go through the steps on our son's final resting place. Almost immediately Steven & I started crying. We looked through so many books for pamphlets, scripture, songs, and worst of all caskets. How do we even make decisions like these? Nothing seems good enough for a son we haven't even held yet. As we sat there, Caleb was moving and kicking. I just wanted to hold him & kiss his sweet little face. How God can this be happening? I know it's not for me to know now but somehow give Steven & I strength to endure this pain. Steven sat quietly as tears rolled down his face. He so loves his son. It took us about 2 hours. As we finished, the man who helped us asked if he could pray with us. We said absolutely and then we were off to get our other children. Somehow life has to go on, we have to pull it together for the sake of our children.
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