Facing our own Giants

Watched "Facing The Giants"...again. I love this movie because it reminds me of how much God loves us. It is a testimony to His faithfulness to us and a reality check on our faithfulness to Him. I was reminded of how it took many many years for me to have our son Devin. I had given up when I was told that I would probably never be able to have children. But God had a different plan. How tremendously blessed we are to have our beautiful son Devin. Then once again we were faced with not being able to conceive. And once again after several years God surprised us again. Our precious son, Caleb. We still feel so blessed that we were chosen to be Caleb's parents...even if that meant for only a short while. Every moment with our children is more than we had ever expected. Things can seem unbearable at times but I know God is there to carry us. I have learned to love my children more than I ever thought possible, to hug them even harder and more often. We will love God in good times and in difficult times. He constantly shows us He is with us. Today while eating lunch, I looked over at Caleb who was sitting in his swing. He was watching his animals go round and round. Then I saw him reach for one of them. I yelled for everyone to look, then the tears just started pouring down my face. My mom was overwhelmed with happiness. Steven started snapping pictures and the boys got to see their brother acheive something we never thought would be possible. It was another milestone showing with God.... anything is possible.

Thanksgivng

There is so much to be thankful for this year. I just can't believe that we got to celebrate Thanksgiving with our precious Caleb. We had a small celebration with just us and my father and mother. We also got a surprise by my sister in law who came down from NY. She hadn't seen Caleb since he was born.

I saw this saying on a friends post and I think is says it all. "With you in my life, the music plays longer, the stars twinkle brighter, and Heaven doesn't seem so far away." I see a little piece of Heaven whenever I look into Caleb's beautful blue eyes. Thank you God for my wonderful family. Without them this would be unbearable. And thank you God for the amazing friends you have brought into our lives. But most of all, Thank you God for walking with me, with us, on this journey.

"Daddy"

Caleb was having such a good night laughing and cooing. During one of his vocal moments...he said "daddy". Whether he meant to say it or not isn't important...the look on daddy's face was priceless. He was beaming. My dad was here as well to witness it. Confirmed...it was "daddy". Now Steven is relentless to get him to say it again :) I love it.

Cpap/bipap study

Caleb went in for his titration study. He tolerated his mask for about 2 hours then he started screaming. The rest of the night was really difficult. He didn't breathe well at all. We were up with him all night. Monday we will get the results.

Halloween 2009

I am so amazed that I am even posting this. We made it to Halloween! Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be dressing up the boys to share moments with their baby brother, Caleb. We had such a good time going to Coon Hollo Corn Maze, The Pumpkin Patch and of course trick or treating. We made some wonderful memories and I don't think the boys will ever forget how absolutely adorable their baby brother was as Master Yoda. Our children are our world. They are precious and I thank God everyday for them......

A day of reality

Caleb has been having issues with his oxygen levels being low and I noticed that his heart rate had gotten really low, in the 60's. That is something I hadn't noticed before. I called the cardiologist and pulmonologist to see what I needed to do. Caleb's pulmonologist felt like we really needed to see about getting him on a cpap or bipap. But we first had to get him use to using a mask. That in and of itself is going to be a major feat. Her concern is that she knows that Caleb stresses out so badly that he causes himself to crash. So the options are to either get him use to using a mask or let his respirations slowly get worse. Not an option that we like. So daddy is trying to figure out a way to get more oxygen to him without a mask. Maybe tenting the one end of his crib.

I spent the day loving on him, playing with him, taking pictures and videos. I couldn't stop laughing and crying. Devin got to go spend the day with his friend Liam. It was good for him and it was good for me to have some alone time with Caleb. These days of reality checks are hard. I just love my boys and the thought of losing either of them just rips my heart apart. I know the reality with Caleb I just don't like it when it slaps me in the face.

Mommy & Caleb Time

We got to spend some alone time together, it was wonderful. Thank you God.